Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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