Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
