hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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