Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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