he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
