I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize