I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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