can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
