Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
