After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
