Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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