So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
