If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
