i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
