I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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