it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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