Soap is not a condiment
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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