It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
