my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
