I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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