the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I will be naked everywhere
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
