My brain says no but my pants say off.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
