jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
