he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
