Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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