i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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