that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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