Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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