you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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