no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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