I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
