"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
