so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Alive.
So much puke
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
