the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
