i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
