i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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