Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
