today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
