Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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