I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
