whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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