I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
