Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
