There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
