i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
