time to smoke my breakfast
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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