pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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