so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
