the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His hands were made for my vagina.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
