I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
