If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
