But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
