Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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