So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
