Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
