just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
