real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
