You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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