Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
