Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
